Do you need a travel guide for your dating journey?

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When we made the transition from girl to woman, and started attracting the attention of men, what happened if we lacked the necessary skills to handle the attention? Many of us sought out our own counsel from spaces that gave us faulty advice. We ended up way out of alignment with what was best for us. Where was our good advice? If you are single and still searching (for good advice), let’s dive in. 

First, what needs to shift is our mindset on dating and how we approach it. It all starts with mindset. When you only depend on yourself for the answers instead of God you can find yourself in spaces without boundaries and in lust. Second, we must consider how we value ourselves.

The journey of life has its hiccups. We want everything to be smooth sailing, but dating is so far from that. So, I decided to think of God as my travel guide and travel buddy. James 1:5 says, “If you don’t know what you’re doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You’ll get his help, and won’t be condescended to when you ask for it.” I think of God as the person who tells me where to go and He also shares in the experiences. 

Singleness can sometimes seem boring if it is not spent properly. In addition, dating is sometimes portrayed as the only fun thing to do when single, or you sit alone at home. However, singleness should be met with a purpose, starting with the mindset of loving yourself enough to set and not compromise on your “love bar.”

What’s a “love bar?” A love bar is the standard you set for dating. If you align your standards with what God knows is best for you, you will have a “love bar” that weeds out bad guys, protects your heart, and gives you the best chance to have a meaningful and lasting relationship. However, if you set your love bar standard based on the latest sitcom advice, don’t be surprised if your life looks like the same drama.

Your bar is set based on your value and worth as God defines it. You should rely on His promises and revisit them daily. Be honest with yourself in prayer and give the doubts, fears, pleasures, and happy times over to God. So when a guy doesn’t pass the love bar test, you can feel confident having fun doing the alternative to the date thing knowing that you are avoiding unnecessary drama.

Having a standard based on your relationship with God will guide you. When you are interested in a young man, convey that through friendships and plenty of conversation. Ask him about his standards and declare yours as well. This will tell you a lot about intentions. See if he is willing to collaborate on the boundaries. Remember that God created your bodies and does not want to keep you away from pleasure, experience, and love. Staying in the will of God may not always be easy, but will keep us from many regrets. 

When we become women, men will flock to us. We need the skill to protect our hearts and reserve yourself for the one deserving our attention. Our confidence in this dating journey comes from relying on our guide, Jesus.

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