This is My Boundary and You Cannot Cross it

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Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries, so many of them – geographical, political, cultural. Are they necessary? Of course. Without them, there would be total chaos. Knowing this, how do you feel about adding another one – a relational boundary? Have you set limitations or established standards in your relationships, especially in the dating realm? Boundaries define what you are comfortable with and how you insist on being treated. If you have not, may I make a few suggestions.

First, let’s start with the basis for our boundary setting. Do you realize that you are fearfully and wonderfully made as stated in Psalm 139:14. Because God created you and values you, you can identify your boundaries and feel free to communicate them to your associates as an expression of how God defines your worth. Think about it, would God want you to be abused or misused emotionally, physically, sexually, in any manner?

Nevertheless, there are “toxic” people who have no problem attempting to overstep your boundaries. By pressuring you through manipulation, lies, threats etc., they somehow, deplete you of your ability to make “wise” choices and/or cause you to lower your values in life. Does your person of interest lie to you, demote your self-esteem, look at you as his “sugar mommy” monetarily, refuse to allow you to meet people of importance to him, etc.? Again, set your boundaries.

One much abused boundary is in the sexual realm. Many people succumb to sexual pressure in hopes of maintaining relationships. But our relationship with God is far more important. Then how do we resist temptation and the pressures to give in to them.

How to respond to sexual pressure

You may not be able to make people respect your boundaries, but you can control how you respond to them. When the devil tried to tempt Jesus, Jesus’ ammunition was the words of God, those in the Bible. Remember, when someone encourages you to have sex outside of marriage, God’s word says in 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 that your body is the temple of God and that we should flee from fornication (sex outside of marriage) – it is an offense against your own body and to God. Verse 20 tells us to glorify God in our body. Sex outside of marriage does not glorify Him.

In addition, if someone has “true” love for you, he will not desire to violate your values because he should have values of his own that honor God. If both parties are on one accord, boundaries are easier to respect If, however, someone insists on having sex with you, remember your set boundaries, even if you have to end the relationship. Love is of God. Lust is of the devil. You must make your choice. “Healthy” choices lead to “healthy” relationships. A great slogan is “Be a peach out of reach.” Yes, set boundaries and hold fast to them. I truly believe the reward for this will be great. 

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