Above All Else, Love

I’m struggling with something. Can you help me? If any friend said this to me about anything, I would stop and pray before I would think I could speak into their situation. Philippians 4:6 says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” On this particular occasion, my friend said she struggles with a same-sex attraction, the operative word is “struggles.” This topic is so sensitive. I’d want to fast before counseling my friend. Then we would talk.  

I would not start the conversation about them being in a same-sex relationship. I would simply start the conversation with thanking her for sharing with me. It is an honor when people trust you with the important things in their lives, and this conversation is important. If I listen well I’d probably discover that though our struggles may be different, our goal is the same–freedom. People choose their lifestyles for a variety of reasons. My friend may feel she was born with an attraction to the same sex and she does not understand it herself. She may have experienced trauma that led to her feeling the way she does. But, I need to talk with her to know how she feels and how I can help.

I would ask her if she believes in  Jesus as Lord and Savior. I would remind her about God’s love and how He sacrificed His son so that we could have freedom from our struggles with sin and that we have sinned. Don’t skip the truth about sin. It’s the root cause of the struggle. Make sure your motive in sharing is because you want to love her well and your words will follow your heart. We want people to run to God not run from God because of how we represent Him. The most important piece of advice I have is to show your friend love. “Most of all, love each other as if your life depended on it. Love makes up for practically anything” (1 Peter 4:8, The Message).

However, if you don’t know what to say, you could steer your friend in the direction of someone who does. You should continue to pray privately for your friend. Live holy before God and allow Almighty God to change the heart of your friend.