You May Be Alone but You Don’t Have to be Lonely

There is no doubt that singleness is an important time, and utilized properly, singlehood can be a glorious season to prepare for marriage. The Word of God tells us, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28). This is a great scripture to meditate upon when it seems that God is not moving with our perceived timetable.

The summer months can amplify anxiousness amongst those who desire to be married. We look to the left and right and are aware of marriage ceremonies, June brides, and wedding anniversaries. Inevitably, it leaves one to think, “What about me God?” If this is you, consider this for a moment: being alone is not the same thing as being lonely. Remember, you are an individual, so do not compare yourself to others and what God is doing in their lives.

Loneliness is typically manifested as an overwhelming sense of isolation when desires or needs are unmet. Being “alone” however, can encompass a state or feeling of freedom without being attached, while one is enjoying autonomy or independence. If you are waiting on God to direct you toward your mate, spend “alone” time meditating, praying, and allowing yourself to hear from God. When we are “alone” is often when we can clearly hear God as he speaks to our heart. Also, using your alone time to be in the presence of God, maximizes your ability to discern if you need to make any changes in your life.

I am sometimes reminded of the story of a man who was drowning and begged God to rescue him. A sailor passed by and threw the drowning man a lifesaver. The man refused to take it, exclaiming, “I’m waiting on God to save me.” Similarly, as you wait for God to direct you toward your mate, it’s okay to socialize and go on outings that do not compromise your integrity and virtue. It is often through church, community, and social activities that we find our lifelong mates. God is not going to simply send a mate to ring your doorbell and boom…. he or she is the one! As you wait on God, deflect loneliness by seeing your friends and family, remaining sexually pure, having an active worship and prayer life, and focusing on edifying your mind, body, and soul.

Lastly, marinating in loneliness can lead to poor-decision making with dire consequences. Many people, out of desperation and loneliness, accept marriage proposals and sadly compromise so they will no longer be single. Some of these relationships are marred with abuse, infidelity, and dysfunction. This is why II Corinthians 6:14 gives us strong warning about being unequally yoked or attached to someone who has no desire to honor God.

Dear one, you may be alone for a season. Nevertheless, know that if you honor God, he will give you the desires of your heart. As you meditate on that, remember the lovely proclamation in God’s Word, “I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:11-13).