Our Bad Boy Syndrome
Women are sometimes rightly accused of being attracted to men who, for lack of caring to use a euphemism, are hoodlums. They seem confident and carry themselves like men on a mission. The mission, however, lands them in jail or some other kind of trouble. But we still find them intriguing.
I have to admit, I used to have the “bad boy syndrome.” My perspective of men changed as I better understood my desires. One day my cousin and I were talking about what I like in a man. After I told him, he said, “Oh, what you want is a tamed hoodlum.” What made him come to that conclusion?
As I picked apart the man in my mind, I found that I simply want a man that is strong. His strength is not necessarily physical but “life tough.” It consists of perseverance, loyalty and sacrifice…and love. In other words, I want someone who is tough and tender.
The problem with bad boys is that sooner or later they are bad…to everybody. Their toughness is merely a façade of what I desire in depth of character. It’s an illusion. After I identified what really attracted me, I had to learn to recognize it in its true form. I found that really tender men can be really tough too.
“…he [Jesus] humbled himself by becoming obedient to death—even death on a cross!” (Philippians 2:8) Jesus was tender and tough for our sake, to save our souls. Now that’s a Man!
