A Wonderful Meal
Sex today is considered a part of the dating process. Many people believe that you have to “try it before you buy it” or in other words, have sex to make sure that you are going to enjoy having sex with the person you choose to be your husband. Well I think of sex with your husband (not boyfriend) as a delicious dessert after a wonderful meal.
The meal sustains you, nourishes you, while dessert is something extra, a moment of pleasure, same with a relationship. The relationship – the time you spend together, learning more about each other, spending together, getting to know each other’s likes and dislikes- is like your meal. Those are the parts of the relationship that sustain you. Sex is the dessert that comes after the meal- marriage. Sex is the part that bonds the married couple and is something that no one else is privy to. Sex without the meal will cause you to be hungry again or malnourished- just like eating only dessert, never anything healthy. It is not something that you can live off of, there is no relational foundation. There is nothing there to keep you together when something happens, which it will.
People get confused and believe that sex is the sign of a deeper relationship, but the foundation of the relationship is love. I don’t mean just causal love, but unconditional love that only comes through a relationship with Christ.
Hebrews 13:4 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.